 |
| Botched Executions: "Swift and Painless" Turns Into "Oof" |
When facing the end, you'd likely want the process to be swift and relatively painless. Unfortunately for a few poor souls, things didn't exactly go according to plan, transforming what should have been a quick procedure into a nightmare.
● The Countess and the Inexperienced Chopper
For a beheading, two things are essential: a sharp blade and a trained executioner. Margaret Pole, the Countess of Salisbury, only got one of those. She fell from King Henry VIII's good graces for criticizing his divorce, and after her influential son further chastised the king, Margaret was eventually led out for her execution on May 27th, 1541. The main executioner was away, so his intern filled in. The inexperienced man "couldn't chop worth shit," resulting in him hacking Margaret's back and neck to bits. It took 11 swings to finally detach her head.
 |
| Margaret Pole's execution |
● The Uncooperative Frenchman
Sometimes you might want to have done something truly deserving of a spectacular end. Robert-Francois Damier hated King Louis XV and attempted to stab him with a penknife in 1757. Luckily for the king, his thick royal coat stopped the pen from doing severe damage, only penetrating less than half an inch. Damier was arrested and sentenced to be drawn and quartered by horses. This method involves tying ropes to the limbs and strapping them to four horses, which pull in opposite directions until the limbs pop out. However, Damier had "stubborn anatomy" that refused to separate. To assist, his tendons were cut. Even after his last limb detached, he was reportedly still alive, leading to his "stumpy bloody torso" being burned to finish the job.
 |
| Robert-Francois Damier execution |
● Black Jack and the Deadly Decapitation
Infamous American outlaw Thomas Ketchum, also known as Black Jack, was sentenced to death by hanging for his countless crimes. Unfortunately for Tom, the small New Mexico town had no experience actually hanging a man. They tested the gallows with a 200-pound sack of flour but then made the mistake of reusing the same rope, which was now "really tight". On April 26th, 1901, the rope was placed around his neck, and the trapdoor was sprung. The long, tight rope instantly decapitated Tom once he reached the apex of his final descent.
 |
| Thomas Ketchum execution |
● The Nanny with the Mirrored Heart
GL was sentenced to death by firing squad in Thailand for the kidnapping and murder of a six-year-old boy. Thailand's firing squads involve tying the prisoner facing backward on a wooden cross and having a single executioner fire up to 15 shots at a target near the heart. On January 13th, 1979, GL was executed and carted off to the morgue. However, she was later found screaming her freaking head off and attempting to stand up. It turned out GL had situs inversus, a condition where all her organs were mirrored, placing her heart on the right side of her chest. The initial shots completely missed her heart. She was immediately set up once more and given another volley of shots.
● The Electric Chair's Fiery Failure
New inventions typically go through rigorous testing, but for the electric chair, improvements could be made later. William Kemmler, who murdered his wife with a hatchet, became the electric chair's first test subject. On August 6th, 1890, the switch was thrown, sending 1,000 volts through his body for 17 seconds. He was unconscious but alive. The voltage was doubled, and the power was thrown again. Witnesses reported that his blood vessels ruptured, and his entire body caught fire. The room filled with the "foul odour of burning flesh," causing many witnesses to flee. The execution lasted eight terrifying minutes. An autopsy showed his brain had been "cooked to a tender medium rare". The New York Times suggested the executioner would have been better off using an axe.
 |
| William Kemmler execution |
Which execution do you think was the most brutally botched?
This page does not support violence, information is for educational purposes only.